Down and Up

So the latest news has been very much up and down. William did not have a very good day yesterday, and by the time early afternoon rolled around, we had a pretty difficult chat with the doctors. William's numbers were looking so bad, and they were on a trend getting worse, where they were very legitimately concerned and expecting him to maybe not last the night. He's bounced back for now, but he has little wiggle room for us to support him more.
Anyways, we spent a good chunk of time deciding how we may want to spend some of our last moments with William and got in touch with a couple of our pastors from Covenant who were so kind to come baptize William. It was really special. He didn't like the water on his head much and made a face when the water hit his face for the third time.
As part of this, we both got to spend time actually having skin to skin contact with William. Which was absolutely incredible. I don't even know how to describe it, but for the few hours I was holding him, the world just felt a lot more whole than it's felt in a while, and it was one of the best things I've had the privilege to experience.
Jeff got to hold him, too and it was equally special to watch him hold William. We had a photographer come in who took some candid family photos of us, someone who volunteers their time to come and take pictures of people in our situation.
The miraculous thing is that William started oxygenating better when we were holding him, than he had for the past few days. Which bought him more time. And a little more time.
All of Jeff's family was able to come visit and eventually my parents also arrived just after midnight after driving all afternoon and evening. It's been wonderful having everyone here.
So, William is doing much better, and we are so blessed that he is still with us right now. The docs are frankly surprised he made it through the night. Now, we're basically playing it hour by hour, day by day to see how things go. He's not on quite as much support as he was yesterday, but there's not much higher we can go. He's still on 100% oxygen, which is what he needs right now to recover from his longer period of bad saturation, but we really need to be able to dial him down to prevent some of the serious side effects prolonged oxygen exposure can cause.
So, we are VERY aware of William's precarious situation right now. We are overjoyed he is with us today and Grandma Pierce (or whatever her new title is) got to watch a feeding and diaper change!
William's platinum blonde peach fuzz hair is still growing, his eyebrows came in, and we can see some eye lashes, too.
He was starting to crack open his eyes yesterday on our chests, too. It's like watching an egg hatch!
Through the night, he was saturating very very well and he has continued generally on that path so far. He seems pretty tuckered out today, or at least much more peaceful and sleepy. We're all exhausted as well.

We need the prayers to continue. Prayers that William keeps on fighting, that he continues to have a good heartbeat. That he saturates well with oxygen and that his blood pressure stays where it needs to, to support him. That William maybe has a poop! That he doesn't have an infection from the new arterial line that gave us trouble on Thursday.
That his blood sugar comes down a little again.
That mommy and daddy know how to take care of themselves and rest when they need to.
Today, William is ten days old.

Pray for Oxygen!

An update from Melissa today:

Yesterday the doctors were able to successfully replace the tube that went into William's stomach (the arterial line), and it's working! Praise God!!!! They received a blood gas test back, oxygen levels are still low, but carbon dioxide levels were good.

This morning: William is being switched from the other breathing machine, we need him to get better oxygen saturation so we can bring him down from the 100% oxygen. Pray he takes to the new machine and pray they can bring the oxygen down. Pray his body receives the oxygen it needs to heal and survive.

An Update from Jeff

Hi, this is Becky again. Jeff just called me and here's an update he wanted me to post for him:

• Yesterday the doctors did a brain scan/ultrasound on William and discovered some dark spots on the left side of his brain which might indicate that some brain cells have died. This could mean he may end of having cerebral palsy and unable to move his lower body. Although, he is moving his lower body quite a bit and ultrasounds aren't always correct, so this is unsure.
• There is a really important big tube that goes into William's belly button and is used for testing his blood, blood pressure, and a whole host of other things that measures how his body is doing. Right now the tube isn't working. They think there might be a blood clot in there. If the doctors take the tube out and replace it with a new one, the clot could dislodge and cause damage to other parts of his body, or he could get an infection. The other option is to put the tube in his foot, but that would cause his foot to swell very large. They are going to try and replace the tube in his stomach, but there's definitely risks.
• William is on 100% oxygen right now and has had his 3rd dose of steroids to help his lungs. The longer he is on oxygen, the more damage it can cause his lungs, which are already small and may be underdeveloped. The steroids should reduce inflammation but this also causes his immune system to be weakened. The goal is to try to use the steroids so his lungs can heal and grow, and have an easier to accept oxygen so his blood gets the oxygen he needs to all parts of his body.
• William is getting a little bit of breastmilk every 6 hours but it's just to prepare him for receiving more food later. If they give him too much, his blood will circulate more in his digestive system rather than in the areas where he needs the most healing. 

• The doctors are very worried about William but it's too soon to tell what will happen. As noted above, William has a lot of risks, so keep praying. He's managed to survive these risks before so we hope that continues!

Here's some good things that happened:

• Jeff and Melissa were able to see William without the top hatch of the incubator
• They could hear his little voice as the ventilator air flowed past his vocal chords (which is normal). Jeff said it was like a little squeaky breath, in and out, and very cute.
• William was holding Jeff's finger very tightly today!
• William is still moving around a lot, which is good.
• He has blondish-red eyebrows like Jeff. :)

Please keep praying for William:

• The tube can be replaced without any issues
• His lungs would grow and heal quickly
• The spots on his brain will turn out to be nothing
• That he won't have any damage to the rest of his body
• That he will not get any infections

Power of Prayer

For those of you who are prayer warriors, the next few days may be very crucial.
William did start out strong, but because he's so little, he's gotten pretty tired by now and needs a lot more extra support from his breathing machines and drugs. This morning, he had a pretty rough day apparently.
We've been having to keep upping his blood pressure medicine, and today we had to start him on a more powerful steroid to replace the hydrocortisone to try and reduce the inflammation in his lungs. This is to help him reach the oxygen saturation in his blood that he needs to survive. There's a host of other risks with this drug, and he's getting the minimal amount for the shortest possible period where it may be effective. So while that is scary, it's also somewhat a matter of survival or not.
So far he seems to be doing well with it. We'll probably have a better idea tomorrow, too. Since he's been on pure oxygen for over a day, it's important that we wean him off of it, because that much oxygen can be toxic, so hopefully we'll be able to start weaning him off of it slowly tonight.

Facing that William is in more of a critical condition today than he was a few days ago is really hard. I don't really know what other details to go into just yet, because we don't really know for sure how the drug may otherwise affect his body. It could slow his growth. It could cause brain damage. But this is also what he needs to survive right now. And all I can hope is that his feedings can increase and that he will get what he needs to overcome this rough patch. Pray, pray, pray. Cry out.
I was reminded today that God's power lives within each of us, so I'd like to think that harnessing that power could accomplish another miracle.

Happy 1 Week!

We have gotten to know William for a week now.
It's been a blessing to touch his head.
It's been a blessing to have him squeeze our finger in his palm.
It's been a blessing to smell him.
It's been a blessing to get to be part of his feedings.
It's been a blessing to meet and see this remarkable human being who is part Jeff and part Melissa.
William is SO CUTE.

Mommy's Recovery So Far

So surprisingly, my recovery from delivering William has progressed smoothly. I've felt better and stronger than I have during most of the pregnancy and I don't really seem to be having many labor related aches and pains. 

I do notice the effects of prolonged bed rest test, though. My lower back is killing me and super weak, I'm having to be very conscious of trying to correct my upper body posture and I can use my abs again. 

My sleep schedule is pretty crazy since I'm trying to establish a good milk supply for later on (and that's going pretty well, considering I'm a Preemie mom). 

Most days I still want to save my energy to make the walk from the parking garage to the ISCU (on opposite sides of the hospital...) and to be able to stand for longer amounts of time so I can touch William. So when I'm at home, I'm trying to make myself chill, even though I have all these projects I want to get my hands on and I really enjoy having the energy to take care of myself more. Hurray for getting my own beverages (except this morning... I was already hooked up when I realized I was thirsty and asked Jeff to supply me, lol)!!

When I go back to my next postpartum check up, I will be treated as low risk, for which I'm grateful.

The Race Begins

We've seen some changes over the last day and a half. Some good, some expected, some worrying me and Jeff. 

Let's start with the good:

William responded well to my milk, so he now gets to eat every six hours. When I held the syringe today, he squirmed a little when he started feeling it trickle down into his belly ❤

William was a lot calmer today. Probably because they went up on his pain medication a little yesterday, but also because he's on a different respiratory machine today. 

The nurses replaced one of the IVs that went into his belly with an IV that is in his leg and can be much more permanent, possibly even stay there for a month.

We taped a picture of Jeff and me to the incubator, William is looking right at it. If he opens his eyes, he'll see us, although he probably won't be able to see much.

The expected and more complicated news that puts is on edge:

He got switched to a different breathing machine. That in and of itself isn't bad, but the reasons for that happening (the blood pressure difference between his lungs and the rest of his body, and the heart bypassing blood flow to the lungs sometimes, leading to undersaturation of oxygen in the rest of his body). So today, with the ventilator, he's also on another drug/gas that is being mixed with his air to relax the blood pressure in his lungs. At the same time, he's been getting dopamine again, and they've increased the dose somewhat throughout the day. 

In addition, he was testing high for carbon dioxide in his blood, so they've had to turn up the ventilator to force William to take more breaths per minute. Over the course of the day, they've gradually had to keep increasing the breathing rate. He's getting close to maxing out the speed of the machine, so he may need to go back to the oscillator sometimes tonight. His latest blood test tonight looked good enough for them to leave the settings as is for now.

What we really need prayer for:

It seems that we have now reached a point where it's apparent that William's lungs have exhausted themselves and he needs more help. Now, we're in a bit of a race. Can his body grow and heal his lungs faster than they are being damaged by the life support he's receiving? We hope that the increased frequency of feeding with breast milk will give him what he needs to heal and beat the clock. It's also good that he got a break from the oscillator I guess, to change the stress he's been undergoing. So, pray that William's lungs will grow and heal faster than they are being hurt.